This is a true story of my Mennonite family's journey through happy and heartache years. My reflections of the past, being bullied in school, being banned from church youth meetings and then being denied communion left a devastating mark on my fun, loving spirit. There were times when I contemplated ending my life. After that horrible communion Sunday, I walked out of Church and threw my head covering on the doorstep and never looked back. My dream of becoming a missionary had been shattered. I lived a sin-filled life after leaving the spiritual world. I tried to stay focused on creating the new me while living in the eye of many stormy years without God in my life. I never really felt accepted in the world, either, because people would constantly hurt me. However, due to my strong-willed personality and my upbringing, I would always forgive and bounce back. It was my mother's death that challenged my faith in a way nothing else had which brought me back into God's arms again. I knew in order to see her again I would need to make some changes in my crazy life. I am looking forward to seeing my parents in Heaven some sweet day.