Rent Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

Synopsis

Author Alfie Kohn believes that most traditional methods meant to change children’s bad behavior are about parental control and conditional love. With the support of extensive research, he suggests that youngsters are hurt by the system of rewards and punishments for good and bad behavior. He believes that unconditional love is essential to a child’s well-being, and current procedures send a message that children are loved for their behavior, not for themselves. Kohn goes on to suggest several methods for putting different behavior in place by ’working with’ children as opposed to controlling them. Among them are how to maintain unconditional love when a parent must say ’no,’ how parents can think about situations from their children’s point of view to have a greater understanding of how to treat them, and assisting children in making their own choices.

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